An independent satirical museum · Gift shop open
Humanity panicked.
We kept the exhibits.
Welcome to The Museum of Human Panic: a fictional museum of very real absurdity. Start with Volume I: The Pandemic, our humor book about humans behaving, well, humanly.
No admission ticket. Just a sense of humor.
The curatorial promise
Fictional museum. Real human absurdity.
Satire, not a history textbook.
Available now clearly separated from coming next.
01 / The permanent collection
One book.
An entire species.
Volume I: The Pandemic turns absurd human behavior into exhibits. A humor book for anyone who lived through the chaos and could use a little distance from it.
Browse the gift shopAvailable now
Volume I: The Pandemic
Take the first exhibit home. Current editions, prices, and availability are listed in the shop.
Merchandise in development
The wearable collection
Exhibit-inspired merchandise is next. The plan: test a small print-on-demand capsule before investing in inventory.
More books & social exhibits in development
The museum keeps collecting
New volumes and bite-sized social satire will expand the collection. Human behavior has not, unfortunately, run out of material.
Behind the exhibits / Our growth blueprint
Small museum.
Deliberately big plans.
$100,000
Annual revenue goal—not current revenue.
A proposed route to a profitable independent brand: build an audience around the exhibits, sell the book, validate merchandise, then expand. The figures below are planning assumptions, not shop prices or guaranteed results.
- 01
Months 1–3
Make the first exhibit travel.
Publish four short exhibit posts each week. Test three repeatable formats, invite email sign-ups, and track clicks and book purchases—not just views.
Books
$50,000
2,000 × $25
- 02
Months 4–6
Let visitors wear the joke.
Test three merchandise designs with audience polls and a small print-on-demand launch. Keep only designs with positive contribution margins after fulfillment and fees.
Merchandise
$30,000
1,000 × $30
- 03
Months 7–9
Borrow the right audiences.
Pitch ten humor newsletters, podcasts, or independent shops each month. Use tracked partner links and capped commissions; develop bulk gift orders without counting them twice.
Distribution
No extra revenue assumed
Supports all sales
- 04
Months 10–12
Open the next room.
Validate a new book or digital exhibit collection with a waitlist before production. Bundle with Volume I, then launch to readers and the best-performing partners.
New products
$20,000
800 × $25
Revenue is not profit. Keep the museum solvent.
At $100,000 in annual sales, target a 50% contribution margin after production, fulfillment, payment fees, returns, and acquisition costs. Cap annual overhead at $25,000 to aim for $25,000 operating profit before tax. Review margins monthly; pause paid promotion when acquisition costs exceed first-order contribution. These are targets, not forecasts.
Your first exhibit awaits
Take home a little collective ridiculousness.
Start with Volume I: The Pandemic. The museum is fictional. The gift shop is not.
Visit the gift shop